Role Play Here

Okay, I am working on the story now.

U can be a reviewer. One stop left!

Epilouge

Xinzi is an average wolf who is loyal to his pack, but what happens when he falls in love with a fae from the other side? Will he give up loyalty, or get the love of his life? Will he risk losing his family for her? What could happen? Drama pounds every chapter. New wolves arrive, are they to be trusted? Will Lupis give up on them all?

U May Start reviewing! Theres Mine Story- Its unnamed and Tabies thunder, Nightfires broken dream chatcher

Nightfire- 16.

what do i need to change?

Im stuck... Should i post the new stuff?

This story started with a bang, then a scream, and ended with this screeching evil laugh. Through my burly eyes, i saw a women with red eyes. Blood dripping from her lips. She was smiling at us, laying on the floor. We must have look dead to her. The floor was slaplatered with the color red. As so was my hair. As the wicked women left out the door into the cold fall night, I pushed my self up and looked around. I felt my Neck and felt the bite marks. I hated the fact that now, life as I knew would be much different then I planed. I dislike the fact that my life is changed, and i didn't get to pick if I wanted it changed. I touched the blood and look at it. Now, I don't crave food. I crave the sweet taste of blood. I lick my finger. The blood tasted sweet, different but something my stomach craved. It was a odd, strange feeling my stomach now had. I knew what that feeling was, I wouldn't let myself admit it. I loved how this blood tasted and I was hungry for more. I was also afraid of myself. What if I turned into someone who kills people that had no right to die? I stood up and looked at my parents. They looked like there were dead. Not vampires, just dead. Is that what I really am? A vampire? I had always thought that they were just blood sucking freaks. Is there much more to them? I grab my coat and walk outside. Maybe it was just a dream I would wake up from. Or a nightmare that just might never end. I look around the best I can, my eyes still blurred. As the wind rolled by it felt as if it was screeching my name. Rose. Rose, how could you let your family die? Do you feel any pain? "Stop, Stop it!" I put my hands over my ears and sit down crying. My head was in my lap and my arm over it. Then a young man about seventeen walks up to me. His blood smelled different, but it smelled wonderful. I was afraid if I got to close, I would hurt him like that wicked women hurt me. "Are you alright?" he said, his voice sounding soft and sweet. "I'm fine." I say in a grim tone. "it doesn't look like it. Are you sure your alright?" I look up at him, the tears still flowing from my eyes. "No, I'm not alright."

IM STUCK! D:

Wolf - I LOVE IT! OMG!

Nightfire- nothing. Just some spelling... I have the same mistake so i should not judge. I meant 19! : D

UserName: Cheese

Name Of Book: "A Knight in Shining Armour" 

Genere: Fantasy/Adventure

How long Is It So Far: I've only written a few paragraphs of Chapter One.

How Many Stars Do You Think It Should Get: Three, to be honest.

UserName: Cheese

Name Of Book: "A Knight in Shining Armour" 

Genere: Fantasy/Adventure

How long Is It So Far: I've only written a few paragraphs of Chapter One.

How Many Stars Do You Think It Should Get: Three, to be honest.

thanks

normaly i just plug it into word but i dont have word anymore

Should I just post what I have of my story right now?

Chesse- U may post the book

Nightfire- Yep and I need help...

what with?

Me Stuck..

(( Okay! ))

Chapter One-

     Long ago, inside of the Kingdom of Arthem, a young man, most likely in his twenties, knocked on the wooden door of the Myrrth family.  Molly Myrrth, the wife of the house, opened the door cautiously. 

"Excuse me, sir, but what business do you have here?" Mrs. Myrrth asked, knowing the young man was from King Harold's army. 

        "Ma'am, it would be better for me to explain things if I were allowed inside," the man said softly.  Mrs. Myrrth allowed the man to enter her home, and offered him a seat in a cushioned chair. 

  "Mama, who's this?" a young girl of the age of five years walked into the room, her tattered dress dragging along the floor. She looked at the man curiously with her wide purple eyes. 

   "Corvina, go play with your dollies," Mrs. Myrrth told her child. "This man and I need to talk alone." 

   Corvina nodded, and went into the neighboring room, but she did not even touch her wooden dolls. She hid behind the wall and listened. She couldn't make out any of the muffled words, but she knew something was wrong. After a few minutes, she could hear loud sobbing coming from her mother, and the creaking of the door opening, then a soft thud as it closed. The man had left. 

     "Mama, what happened?" Corvina ran into her mother's open arms, and hugged her. She didn't like seeing her mother so sad. Her mother was usually so cheery and ready to do anything.

             "Corvina," Mrs. Myrrth positioned the young girl on her lap so that she was looking straight into her purple eyes. "Your father... He is no longer... He died in the... " 

      Mrs. Myrrth was unable to continue her sentence. The rest of her words were swallowed up by her endless sobbing. Tears ran down her cheeks like rivers. Corvina understood completely. Her father, a knight in the king's army, had died in the war between their kingdom and the dragons. 

          "I'm so sorry," Mrs. Myrrth sobbed, squeezing her child, making it hard for Corvina to breathe. Corvina hugged her mother back, and a salty tear ran down her cheek. 

                  "Mama, I'll avenge Papa's death," Corvina vowed quietly. "I'll become a knight." 

Chapter one is pretty short, so I'll make it more of a prologue. ^^

cheese: i love the ending , but the hole of it was alittle preticable- but so far i think it has a good story line to it

Nightfire- Thanks! ^^ But, may I ask, how many stars would you rate it? 

3 stars on how the story was written: like i said it was easy to find out where it was going but otherwise nice written, an there wasent very much detail to it

5 stars on the flow: i liked how it flowed easly

10 on the story: i like the chacteres- u could kinda read them even from what little u put, in the end u added that little extra that cought my attion so great job

total: 18